Maybe in the back of your mind you expected it for a while. Things maybe had changed in your relationship: less time spent together, they spent more time with friends or at work, less sex or no sex, or just a feeling of emotional distance. Or maybe it happened suddenly. They one day just told you it wasn’t working or just blurted it out during a fight. Or they told you they met someone else. Maybe they did it in person but maybe you just got a phone call or a text message from them. However it happened you are likely in a state of disbelief or shock- feeling sad, scared, angry, lonely, or all of the above. So what can you do? How to get over a breakup:
1. Allow yourself to cry
The strong emotions that you are feeling are normal. You will want to cry, to yell, maybe to even scream after a breakup. It is all OK. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions when you need to.
2. Surround yourself with supportive people.
Call your friends, your family, and other people who care about you and let them know you had a breakup and need their support. You need your support network now more than ever. Whoever you have in your life, talk to them and, if you can, spend time with them.
3. Take care of yourself.
After a breakup, self-care is more important than ever. Eat well, get enough sleep, stay away from alcohol, and take the best care of yourself you can. Treat yourself to the things you enjoy. You need your own care right now.
Writing about your feelings can be therepeutic after a breakup. Allow yourself to “free-write”, writing whatever comes to mind. Write a letter to your ex (but don’t send it!) or write a letter to yourself. Express in writing what you are feeling.
5. Practice self-compassion
Going through a breakup can be one of the most painful things we experience. You may be blaming yourself, questioning your own worth, wondering if anyone will ever love you again, or if you will ever be happy again. It is hard to imagine, especially at first, but you will grow from this. You WILL heal. And you will love again. For now, the pain of your breakup needs, as much as anything, your own compassion and kindness.