One of the most destructive things about a breakup is how it sometimes changes, at least temporarily, how we see ourselves.
We might feel less confident for a long time, not just with dating, but in many areas of our lives. We may begin to believe because this one person did not want to be with us that we are somehow flawed and not valuable as a partner. We may feel less attractive. Even unloveable.
The loss of our partner in a breakup is painful on its own and it is a process to heal from the grief. But when negative beliefs about ourselves are formed or uncovered by a breakup this can compound the process and add to the pain.
Working with a therapist after a breakup means you have an ally who will see the good in you. You will have a safe space to feel your emotions and unpack your thoughts. You also will have someone to question how true the negative beliefs you have about yourself are (hint: they likely aren’t true at all!) and who can help you regain your confidence and begin to see yourself in a new way.
After a breakup, don’t believe everything you think. Especially when you’re thinking negative thoughts about yourself.